Wednesday, October 19, 2016

What men want

So, I have been having conversations with a women and we have been exchanging, for lack of a better term, "tips and tricks" on what the opposite sex wants.  And this isn't just about sex, it's about everything.  Everyone knows that I have more women friends than men, so I consider myself quite lucky that I get to have conversations like this with them.  And hopefully it's made me a better man.  So, in no particular order, are things that a man, at least this man, wants from a woman.

Defend me.  When confrontations arise in my life, take my side and defend me from those who wish to do me harm.  You may not know all the details or the circumstances, but when it comes to a fight I need you on my side regardless.  Having someone on my side that I can always trust, no matter what may come, is something I've never had in a relationship other than Jeremy and I long for that in a woman I love.

Wear sundresses.  I love the long lines of a lady in a sundress.  mmmm  It doesn't matter if you think you're short, or if you're a tall woman, a lady in a sundress is something I always love to see.  I believe that in clothing, it's not always what you see, but what you don't see.  Seeing the shape of your body without seeing the part itself drives me crazy.  I can't explain it, but there should be a word in the English language for it.

Speak your mind.  I love intelligent, strong women.  You wouldn't be in my life if you weren't. Tell me what you think and be honest.  Don't hold back.  I won't take it badly, I will be glad that you were honest with me and not afraid of me.

Don't ask me about my back so much.  It hurts, all the time day or night.  I really don't like being reminded of it.  I appreciate that you care enough to ask how I feel but asking about it only reminds me that I am inferior in some ways.  Give me shelter and a refuge from the pain, that's what I need when it comes to my spine.

Let me protect you.  This man was made to protect the women in his life that he loves.  I don't open doors, send flowers and hold your hand because someone told me to do that.  It's my nature, it's the way I'm wired.  I want to be there for you physically and emotionally.  I want to walk on the outside of the sidewalk so if a car hits us from the street I can push you away.  It's my nature, just as your nature is to protect your child, my nature is to protect you.  If someone or something comes in our house to hurt us I will kill it without a second thought.  You are safe with me.

Don't wear a lot of makeup.  I like a woman who looks natural.  A little eyeliner or base, not too much.  I don't know why but this is what I prefer.  You don't have to impress me, I love you as you are and that's what I love to see.

Must love dogs.

Hold my head in your lap, pet my hair and tell me that everything will be alright.  This may be my number one thing.  I need to feel safe sometimes too.  I need to know that you're on my side and that we can tackle whatever comes together and you really believe that.  All my life I've searched for a lady who can make me feel safe at this level...  I need to know that what we have made together is more important to you than yourself.  Do this and I will never leave your side.

Don't be ashamed of your body when it comes to sex.  Sex is sharing your soul with another person.  I will not have sex with a woman that I don't love, and this is the reason.  I consider your body elegant and beautiful, so should you.  When I was 20 I was attracted to 20 year olds.  When I was 40 I was attracted to 40 year olds.  So believe me when I tell you, I am attracted to you.  Don't be afraid to share your entire self with me.  The best sex you will ever have isn't some wild swinging from the ceiling tirade, it's the love made by two people who love each other more than they love themselves.  And you can't have that when you're worried about how your boobs may look to me.  Great sex happens between the ears, not between the legs.

Accept me.  Lots of people have a strong desire to "fix" people.  I don't want to be fixed and I don't want you to try.  I like who I am, I really do.  I know I'm not perfect and I work on those things but overall I think I'm a great person.  I don't mind advice or tips, I love to learn.  But don't come to me and say that I need to do this or that.  That's been tried before and it didn't end well.

Kiss.  And kiss softly.  Share the same breath.  Touch my face with your hands.  Press your forehead to mine softly and exhale, eyes closed.  Hold my body close to yours.  Everyday.  Kissing to me is a lot like sex.  It's sharing myself with you.  I love to kiss and I've tried very hard all my life to become descent at it, as it were.  Kissing isn't about the tongue or the lips, its a form of me sharing my essence with you.  It's more than just an act, much more.  If you like or dislike how I kiss then tell me, let's make it better.  I want to share all of me with you.

Touch me as much as you can.  Hold my hand.  Cuddle on the couch.  Always sit next to me and not across with me.  Physical contact is a means of affection and reassurance to me that you love me.  It's not sexual, its a reassurance to me that you want to be near me.

So, those are a few of the things this man wants from a woman.  Everyone is different and my needs have been shaped by my own particular life experiences.  I think it's important to learn exactly what your partner wants, i.e. needs, from you.  Only then can you experience a pure love with complete trust.  That's what I really want.  LL

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